As a child, I wanted to become a scientist, a magician, a poet, an architect, an illustrator, a sculptor, an actor, a philosopher, a photographer, a playwright and an animator. So by the time I was 13 or 14, I was convinced that it would be possible to a be of all of these if I made films.

I wanted to be an actor or be a director since I was a very small child. I mean, my mother went into labor at a movie theater. There were, like, four movie theaters around us when I was growing up in Austin. Movies became my babysitter. I think I saw more films than I saw reality. Then I noticed something when I was in my late teens that really made my thinking shift in what I wanted to do with film. When I was watching a film as a young man, there would be a second or two when I drifted outside of myself. I noticed how for a moment, in the image and music and train of information, I was traveling through the film, leaving myself. And I knew that was something I wanted to do. I wanted to see how long I could make that feeling go on—if I could take someone outside themselves, outside their body for a minute, five minutes, maybe even 80 minutes, 90 minutes.

My Hollywood dream started when I was young … I was a huge fan of Steve McQueen, Tom Cruise, Stanley Kubrick, Ingmar Bergmann and all these giants even though it was difficult for me to get into this business.

When I was younger and started acting, I wasn't good at sports and didn't have any other special talents. Acting was my after-school activity. I never planned on growing up and becoming an actor. I always wanted to go to school and become a veterinarian so I think when I got older and suddenly realized that it was my passion, it was just a natural moment. I never felt pushed. My family has always supported me completely and kept me grounded. I never got lost in child Hollywood actor weirdness.

You know, I am one of those people where there wasn’t a moment growing up that I knew I wanted to be an actor—the truth was that I didn't know what I wanted to be at all. I wasn’t great at anything, I wasn’t an all-star athlete, great at playing the piano or the smartest kid in school but I liked creative things and watching Disney movies.

I always wanted to be an actor, but I had this whole plan to go to a good drama school and do it that way. I wasn't trying to get into movies; someone came to my high school and auditioned some girls, so it was a complete accident.

I was born to become a star.

I wanted to be a movie star. But movie stars are not what they used to be. When I was a kid, I thought movie stars were women and men who were in these great films that we still look at now...And people my age don't even know who those people are. I can't even have a conversation with most people of my generation about that, because they'd be like, "Okay, she's a freak..." And the worst part is, in terms of what people see of me, I have become this girl who just loves to be photographed, doesn't know how to focus, doesn't know how to work on set, just loves the attention, knows how to go out at night, knows how to party. And you know what? I was 20 years old. I never went to college. And I lived maybe six months out of my life like that, doing something wrong, and then I stopped. God forbid I should have ever learned my lesson. But at this point it's so hard for people to even believe that there was a lesson to be learned at all, because they just think I'm wrong. All these people think I'm never going to be right, because it's more interesting to fabricate this other girl. Who wants to read a tabloid story about a girl who is doing well?

I wanted to be an actor. I never wanted to grow up. I never wanted to. I wanted to fly.

I lived in Hollywood and, ironically, I didn't know you could just go out and get an agent and go on auditions and try and become an actor, I thought it was like a Masonic thing, like a blood line you had to belong to - until I was 13. Then I realised what you had to do. It is the one thing I know I want to do for the rest of my life.

I saw the musical Grease as a freshman in high school. The actors looked so happy. That’s when I started thinking that maybe I would like to become a musical actor. My parents were fervently against it. They wanted me to live an ordinary life. I didn’t really have a dream before acting. I think I just lived without meaning. So I counseled my younger siblings to think carefully about what they want to do, and study hard to go to a college that will support their dreams. Sometimes I wonder what I would have done if I had not found acting.

I wanted to be a boy when I was growing up because I was in love with all of the male dancers I knew and they were all gay. And I thought, Well, if I was a boy, they'd love me. So I got into role-playing then. That's where it began. I remember when I was still in high school, I had cut my hair off really short, and I was totally anorexic - I had no boobs - and I would dress like a boy and go to gay clubs and my goal was to trick men into thinking I was a boy.

I never wanted to be an actor. I never want to be an actor. I want to be a movie star. The whole idea of having to act is too gruesome. It's too ambitious for me.

I started off rapping when I was five and from rapping, I knew I always wanted to be in the entertainment industry.