I just bought a 2-bedroom house, but I think I get to decide how many bedrooms there are, don't you? "Fuck you, real estate lady! This bedroom has an… - Mitch Hedberg

" "

I just bought a 2-bedroom house, but I think I get to decide how many bedrooms there are, don't you? "Fuck you, real estate lady! This bedroom has an oven in it! This bedroom's got a lot of people sitting around watching TV. This bedroom's over in that guy's house! Sir, you have one of my bedrooms, are you aware? Don't decorate it!"

English
Collect this quote

About Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg (24 February 1968 – 30 March 2005) was an American stand-up comic known for his odd subject matter, subdued delivery and memorable routines that often consisted of a string of one-line non sequiturs.

Biography information from Wikiquote

Also Known As

Birth Name: Mitchell Lee Hedberg
Alternative Names: Mitch Lee Hedberg • Mitchell Hedberg
All quotes from Mitch Hedberg Similar Quotes by other Originators
Limited Time Offer

Premium members can get their quote collection automatically imported into their Quotewise collections.

Contact Us Get Premium

Additional quotes by Mitch Hedberg

I will not make you a pastrami, banana bread, cottage cheese sandwich! That would severely ruin my reputation.
Find Similar
Unlimited Quote Collections

Organize your favorite quotes without limits. Create themed collections for every occasion with Premium.

Get Premium Today
One time, this guy handed me a picture of him, he said "Here's a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture is of you when you were younger. "Here's a picture of me when I'm older." "You son-of-a-bitch! How'd you pull that off? Lemme see that camera... What's it look like? "
Sources available for members. Sign up free to see where this quote comes from
Find Similar