HOW BAD WOULD IT ACTUALLY BE? - Rick Hanson

The Reactive mode tears us down, while the Responsive mode builds us up. Adversity is certainly an opportunity to develop resilience, stress-hardiness, and even post-traumatic growth. But for a person to grow through adversity, there must also be Responsive resources present such as determination and sense of purpose. Plus most opportunities in daily life to experience and develop mental resources do not involve adversity: there is simply a moment of relaxation, gratitude, enthusiasm, self-worth, or kindness.

Resentment is when I take poison and wait for you to die.

One way the self grows is by equating itself to things — by identifying with them. Unfortunately, when you identify with something, you make its fate your own — and yet, everything in this world ultimately ends. So be mindful of how you identify with positions, objects, and people.