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" "In a narcissistic cathexis, you invest more energy into your ideas about another person than in the actual, objective, external person.
So the man who falls in love with beauty is quite different from the man who loves a girl and feels she is beautiful and can see what is beautiful about her.
Alison Bechdel (born September 10, 1960) is an American cartoonist. She has written one of the best-known LGBT comic strips, Dykes to Watch Out For, for over 25 years. Her graphic memoir Fun Home was rated one of the best books of 2006.
Biography information from Wikiquote
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At thirteen, I was so paralyzed with self-consciousness that sometimes I'd get home from school and realize I hadn't spoken out loud all day. Later, I would blame my social awkwardness on my homosexuality. But now I speculate that being a lesbian actually saved me... If it weren't for the unconventionality of my desires, my mind might never have been forced to reckon with my body.
Maybe it was the converse of the way amputees feel pain in a missing limb. He really was there all those years, a flesh-and-blood presence streaming off the wallpaper, digging up the dogwoods, polishing the finials... smelling of sawdust and sweat and designer cologne. But I ached as if he were already gone.
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