Ebola was in Texas. Ebola made a visit. Killed that man in Dallas. Five days, that man melted to death. What happened to the brother in Dallas? "Wher… - Dave Chappelle
" "Ebola was in Texas. Ebola made a visit. Killed that man in Dallas. Five days, that man melted to death. What happened to the brother in Dallas? "Where was the secret serum?" is what we all said. I remember in the beginning of Ebola, there were two American doctors that got sick in Africa. They flew them in a private jet straight to Atlanta, to the CDC. I didn't even know CDC saw patients. There, it was said, they administered what The New York Times called "a secret serum." I don't know what's in it. It's just like Colonel Sanders' recipe. But both of these motherfuckers survived. These doctors, thank god, are healthy. They are out there somewhere tonight, at Whole Foods, touching vegetables, walking around. Everything's okay. "Hey, Frank. How are you?" "Oh you didn't hear? I had Ebola last week. But uh, I'm doing alright now. I was bleeding out of my eyes and anus, so I got concerned, but I'm okay." What happened to the brother in Dallas? They just rubbed some vicks on that nigga's chest. "Good luck, little buddy."
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About Dave Chappelle
David Khari Webber Chappelle (born August 24, 1973) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and producer.
Also Known As
Birth Name:
David Khari Webber Chappelle
Alternative Names:
David Khari "Dave" Webber Chappelle
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Additional quotes by Dave Chappelle
This motherfucker grabbed the podium, he goes, "You don't know how scary the things I read in my briefings are." And I was like, "Holy shit, man. You ain't supposed to tell us that, bro." That's bad leadership. Even as a parent, you think I'm gonna sit my kids down like, "Hey, little man, come here real quick, I just wanna holler at you for just a second. Yo, um... I'm three months behind on the rent, nigga, and I. am. worried. Very worried. But go on, go to school and have a productive day, nigga. I was just thinking out loud, getting some shit off of my chest."
I went to Disney World with my kids, which is a big deal for me. I don't get to see my kids so much. I do Chappelle's Show twenty hours a day, sleep for like, half an hour, raise my kids for ten, twenty minutes, and then I go back to work. Now, this particular day, I got to hook up the kids, we went to Disney World. Everybody at the park, fucking everybody, was like "Hey! Hey! I'm Rick James, bitch! Hey, I'm Rick James, bitch." It's like, "Hey man, hey, you mind not calling me a bitch in front of my kids? Time out, motherfucker. Can we take a day off?" Even Mickey Mouse did it. I said, "this is the most unprofessional shit I have ever seen in my life." I was fed up. I caught that motherfucker with an uppercut. Bop! Knocked his head clean off. Everybody was screaming. "Oh my god, oh my god! Mickey Mouse is Mexican!"
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