It’s no more dangerous to society than a radio broadcast of The War of the Worlds. - Tina Fey

You can fix it as soon as you get up - you brush and use mouthwash - but there’s something about knowing you woke up with hot-mothball mouth that makes you feel old. I think God designed our mouths to die first to help us slowly transition to the grave.

I was wearing my best Gap turtleneck and my dates were two adult lesbians, so yea, I was pretty cool.

Despite explosive violence in the West Bank this week, negotiators remain hopeful that a U.S.-sponsored summit could end the conflict. Israeli and Palestinian officials say they are eager to sign an agreement so they can dip it in gasoline, light it on fire and throw it at each other.