If women can sleep their way to the top, how come they aren't there? - Ellen Goodman

When we describe what the other person is really like, I suppose we often picture what we want. We look through the prism of our need.

We criticize mothers for closeness. We criticize fathers for distance. How many of us have expected less from our fathers and appreciated what they gave us more? How many of us always let them off the hook?

We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives . . ., not looking for flaws, but for potential.