To you, I'm an atheist. To God, I'm the loyal opposition. - Woody Allen

I sit in a London pub with Willie Maugham. I am distressed, because my first novel, Proud Emetic, has been coolly received by the critics. Its one favorable notice, in the Times, was vitiated by the last sentence, which called the book "a miasma of asinine cliches unrivalled in Western letters." Maugham explains that while this quote can be interpreted many ways, it might be best not to use it in the print ads.

I heard that Commentary and Dissent had merged and formed Dysentery.

I can't get with any religion that advertises in Popular Mechanics.