[as a Shakespearean narrator] Mind not my words — Let the play be the thing. I'll get back forth and touch myself anon. - Robin Williams

There was one guy that had an amazing claim to fame, in terms of drugs and sports. And his name was Dock Ellis. And Dock Ellis did an incredible thing. The one person who knows, thank you. Dock Ellis pitched a no-hitter on LSD. Those of you who have taken LSD, tell the others how hard that might be. If I took LSD, I'd be talking to every blade of grass like <tiptoes across the stage> "Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!"

And I know many of you are looking for Sarah Palin's new book, it is a bitch to find. Good luck. I found it somewhere between fiction and nonfiction, in the fantasy aisle.

One of the fundamental things is in a jihad. That sounds like a country western term like, "Jiii-had!"