You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club and the sun is out, you got some problems! - Chris Rock

See, even if you get shot by a stray bullet, you won't have to go to no doctor to get it out, whoever shot you will take that bullet back! "I believe you got my property!"

So, it's last Wednesday, right? I'm chilling' in my house in a pair of and getting ready to watch the game. You know what she had the nerve to say? Exactly! I thought the woman was crazy. But, then, you know what else she wanted me to do? So, I'm in my car, right? "Uh, Chris. I'm gonna tell you something." Nigga, what? You're wanted in 18 states and 2 territories! Nigga, what did you do? With a seal? How the hell you gonna do something like that with a seal? You know, that don't sound too bad. I'll try it with my woman. Like that? Get outta here! With oil? So, I'm dead! Just chilling' in Heaven! With my man Chris Farley, Phil Hartman, Biggie, Tupac, Vanilla, my Bu2u, Sam Kinison and there's God. And I'm like, "God, you know everything. I can ask you one question. Who won the game?"

You can't be happy that fire cooks your food and be mad it burns your fingertips.