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The Cousin: Hey Tucker, you know she's French, don't you? Tucker: Oh hell no--You're French? Girl: My parents are, but I was born here. I want to mov… - Tucker Max
" "The Cousin: Hey Tucker, you know she's French, don't you?
Tucker: Oh hell no--You're French?
Girl: My parents are, but I was born here. I want to move to France after graduation.
Tucker: You fucking cheese-eating surrender monkey. I thought someone stunk around here. So if I start speaking German can I push you around and take all your stuff? Those hairy fucking stink-bags would be speaking Kraut right now if it wasn't for us, and they aren't the least bit appreciative. I hope they all fucking die, and your frog-sympathizing ass with them.
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About Tucker Max
Tucker Tibor Max (born September 27, 1975 in Atlanta, Georgia) is an American author and public speaker. He chronicles his drinking and sexual encounters in the form of short stories on his website TuckerMax.com, which has received millions of visitors since Max launched it as the result of a bet in 2000.
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I was very thirsty. Laying in the bathtub, looking up at the faucet, I thought of a great idea. So I turned the nozzle on full blast, and put my mouth up to it. It was like drinking from a firehose, but I was too drunk and dehydrated to notice that I was getting completely soaked, or that water was shooting out of my nose.
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Every girl asked me, "What makes you god's gift to women?" Some answers:
13 inches. Who ever thought it could be too big?
I have 20 million dollars and terminal cancer.
I like to listen.
I'm a convicted sex offender.
Have you seen this face? Look at how hot I am!
I like to cut up hookers.
Bend over and I'll show you.
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