Dating is not easy. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference between a date and a job interview is: not … - Jerry Seinfeld

Let's face it: a date is a job-interview, that lasts all night. The only difference between a date and a job interview is: not many job-interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it.

What is a date really, but a job interview that lasts all night?

The best part of a relationship is when you're sick. And the best time to be sick is in a relationship.

I was very surprised by Festivus catching on, but I think people just like the line rhyming Festivus with "rest of us" is 90% of it. And no presents, and you don't have to buy decorations, it's just an aluminum pole.

Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge.