CALVIN: Our hero regains consciousness at the feet of a sarcastic alien. - Bill Watterson

History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That's why events are always reinterpreted when values change. We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices.

HOBBES:
All this modern technology just makes people try to do everything at once.

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.