Nothing to do but stretch out comfortably on the rack, in the blissful knowledge you are nobody for all eternity. - Samuel Beckett

The fact would seem to be, if in my situation one may speak of facts, not only that I shall have to speak of things of which I cannot speak, but also, which is even more interesting, but also that I, which is if possible even more interesting, that I shall have to, I forget, no matter. And at the same time I am obliged to speak. I shall never be silent. Never.

Yes, there were times when I forgot not only who I was, but that I was, forgot to be.

And I am perhaps confusing several different occasions, and different times, deep down, and deep down is my dwelling, oh not deepest down, somewhere between the mud and the scum.