I am billed as a humorist, but of course I am a tragedian at heart. - Will Cuppy

The average sparrow is something of a bore and the trouble is that all sparrows are average.

[Footnote:] The Dotterel weighs only four ounces. It has long been a scientific riddle how so much wrong-headedness can manage to exist in so small a space. Still, there's the Least Gnatcatcher.

Montezuma had a weak and vacillating nature. He never knew what to do next. [Footnote: He had the courage of his convictions, but he had no convictions.]