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You know they call corn-on-the-cob "corn-on-the-cob," right? But that's how it comes out of the ground, man. They should call that "corn", and they s… - Mitch Hedberg
" "You know they call corn-on-the-cob "corn-on-the-cob," right? But that's how it comes out of the ground, man. They should call that "corn", and they should call every other version "corn-off-the-cob." It's not like if you cut off my arm you would call my arm "Mitch", but then reattach it and call it "Mitch-all-together."
English
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About Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg (24 February 1968 – 30 March 2005) was an American stand-up comic known for his odd subject matter, subdued delivery and memorable routines that often consisted of a string of one-line non sequiturs.
Biography information from Wikiquote
Also Known As
Birth Name:
Mitchell Lee Hedberg
Alternative Names:
Mitch Lee Hedberg
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Mitchell Hedberg
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Additional quotes by Mitch Hedberg
I can't tell you what hotel I'm stayin' in, but there are 2 trees involved. They said "Let's call this hotel 'Something Tree'". So they had a meeting, it was... It was quite short. "How 'bout 'Tree'?" "No." "'Double Tree'?" "Hell, yeah! Meeting adjourned!" "I had my heart set on 'Quadruple Tree'" "Well, we were almost there!
When I drive a rental car, I don’t know what’s going on with it, right? So a lot of times I’ll drive for, like, 10 miles with the emergency brake on. That doesn’t say a lot for me, but it really doesn’t say a lot for the emergency brake. It’s really not an emergency brake, it’s an emergency make-the-car-smell-funny lever.
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I love sandwiches. Sandwiches are easy to eat, but I hate sandwiches at New York delis; too much fuckin' meat on the sandwich. It's like a cow with a cracker on either side. Walk in, order a pastrami sandwich. "Alright, anything else?" "Yeah, a loaf of bread and some other people!" "What kinda bread?" "Rye. No, fuck, banana. You got banana bread back there?" "What kinda cheese?" "Cottage." "Get the fuck out! I'm not makin' a banana bread, pastrami, cottage cheese sandwich! That would severely ruin my reputation!"
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