To close the gap between jurisprudence and justice would require a canon of a hundred million laws. - James Morrow

Maybe I’ll end up on the fun side of her pants some day.

Many are the consolations of literature, and not the least such solace occurs when an annoyingly virtuous hero succumbs to carnal temptation.

I've been good, I've been bad—nothing gets her attention. What am I supposed to do, sacrifice a goat?"
"Perhaps you should start a religion. You know—reveal your mother to the world."
"How can I reveal her when I don't know what she's like?"
"Use your imagination. Everybody else does.