Bill Watterson Quotes

Blustery cold days should be spend propped up in bed with a mug of hot chocolate and a pile of comic books.

Life is full of surprises, but never when you need one.

The problem with people is that they're only human.

I'M SIGNIFICANT!!!
...
Say's the dust speck.

"Calvin:"It says here that 'religion is the opiate of the masses.'...what do you suppose that means?"
Television: "...it means that Karl Marx hadn't seen anything yet

Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a 'possum stuck in your collar?

But Calvin is no kind and loving god! He's one of the old gods! He demands sacrifice!

I must follow the inscrutable exhortations of my soul.

The way Calvin's brain is wired you can almost hear the fuses blowing.

You never know when some crazed rodent with cold feet could be running loose in your pants.

I wonder where we go when we die?”
“…Pittsburgh?”
“You mean if we’re good or if we’re bad?

What's the point of wearing your favorite rocket ship underpants if nobody ever asks to see 'em?

From now on I’ll connect the dots my own way.

[Calvin, who has the chicken pox, calls Susie on the telephone.]
Susie: Hello?
Calvin: Hi, Susie! It's me, Calvin! I was wondering if you'd like to come over and play.
Susie: Why, sure! Boy, I don't think you've ever invited me to...
Calvin's Mom: Calvin, what are you doing?
Calvin: Nothing, Mom. Go away.
Calvin's Mom: You're contagious! You can't have anyone over to play!
Calvin: Shhhh! Shhhh! You'll spoil the whole thing! I was going to trick Susie into catching... HEY! OW! LET GO!
Susie: [Hanging up the phone] Any chance of getting transferred, Dad?

Even if lives did hang in the balance, it would depend on whose they were.