[T]he whole secret of our trouble is want of love to God. If we have it to Him, we shall find it impossible not to have it to others. I can say, for my part, that backbiting and envy were my delight, and even now often lead me astray, but, by dint of perseverance in prayer, God has given me the mastery to a great degree; I did not wish to give it up, so I besought Him to give me that wish; He did so, and then I had the promise of His fulfilment. I am sure this is our besetting sin; once overcome it, and there will be no cloud between God and ourselves. God is love—not full of love, but love itself. The law is love; possessed of love, we shall find our other temptations fall from us like scales. We are all dreadfully prone to evil-speaking, but God is all-powerful against it; it is opposed to His nature, so He hates it. I pray for those I most envy, and the feeling leaves me at once.

Some say that the people of Candahar desire our rule. I cannot think that any people like being governed by aliens in race or religion. They prefer their own bad native Governments to a stiff, civilized Government, in spite of the increased worldly prosperity the latter may give.

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I have learned with equal pain and indignation that the Khedive and his subordinate officers have permitted the resuscitation of the slave-trade in Darfour and the other provinces of central and equatorial Africa, and that fresh parties of slave-hunters are forming at Obeyed in Kordofan, and that every order which I gave concerning the suppression of this abomination has been cancelled... This news is very disheartening, especially when one realises the immense misery which will ensue to the remains of these poor tribes of helpless negroes.

We may be sure that at Candahar the spirit which induced children to kill or to attempt to kill our soldiers in 1879, &c., still exists, though it may be cowed. We have trouble enough with the fanatics of India; why should we go out of our way to add to their numbers?

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I dwell on the joy of never seeing Great Britain again, with its horrid, wearisome dinner parties and miseries. How we can put up with those things passes my imagination! It is a perfect bondage. At those dinner parties we are all in masks, saying what we do not believe, eating and drinking things we do not want, and then abusing one another. I would sooner live like a Dervish with the Mahdi, than go out to dinner every night in London.