Top 15 Conan O'Brien Quotes

If you work really hard, and you're kind, amazing things will happen.

A study in the Washington Post says that women have
better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the
authors of that study: 'Duh.

All I ask is one thing, and I’m asking this particularly of young people: please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism, for the record, it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.

When all else fails, there's always delusion.

It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique. It's not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right your perceived failure can become a catalyst for profound re-invention.

The top two movies at the box office this weekend were 'High School Musical 3' and 'Saw V.'

One movie features gruesome onscreen torture that is difficult to watch and the other is about a guy with a saw.

My favorite comedy is comedy where nothing is achieved and there is no point.

I told graduates to not be afraid to fail, and I still believe that. But today I tell you that whether you fear it or not, disappointment will come. The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality.

There is nothing more liberating than having your worst fear realized.

Applaud my idiocy.

I just want to say to the kids out there watching: You can do anything you want in life. Unless Jay Leno wants to do it too.

Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.

"Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, "Jesus! This cup is expensive!

Rev. Pat Robertson says that if more states legalize gay marriage, God will destroy America. He did say that afterwards, gays will come in and do a beautiful renovation.

Disappointment leads to clarity, which leads to conviction and true originality.