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You are only punishing yourself when you want to be in a relationship with a woman more than she wants to be a in a relationship with you.
Each purpose, each mission, is meant to be fully lived to the point where it becomes empty, boring, and useless. Then it should be discarded. This is a sign of growth, but you may mistake it for a sign of failure.
How can you be more responsible? Not necessarily by doing more work. You become more responsible by knowing your deepest purpose, and then arranging your finances and spiritual life from that knowingness.
Every man knows that his highest purpose in life cannot be reduced to any particular relationship. If a man prioritizes his relationship over his highest purpose, he weakens himself, disserves the universe, and cheats his woman of an authentic man who can offer his full, undivided presence.
Share your emotions with your women friends who can more easily resonate with you, and bring yourself to your intimate partner already healed by such sharing. Let him heal you and love you in his unique way. Let him heal and love you in the masculine style, as the most intimate man in your life.