Matthew Hussey Quotes

What matters most at the moment of heartbreak is the meaning we ascribe to our pain. We may feel devastated because we believe we’ve just lost our soul mate. And that’s often what we do feel in that moment. When we are deep in heartbreak we feel like we have lost the only person in the world for whom we are capable of feeling this level of emotion. We can’t imagine ever loving anyone else. If we invest in this belief, not only will it increase our suffering, it will also make it more difficult for anyone else to come into our life, because we feel like we’ve already lost The One. Nothing else seems to matter. We lose our drive, our ambition, and our ability to take even baby steps forward.

but there’s no poetry in a relationship until the two of you start working together on something that will stand the test of time. Don’t overvalue the poet when there’s no actual poetry.

Seek values, not facts

What we really want to know about someone in our first conversations is what kind of person he or she is. You want to know if he shares your values, whether he's ambitious, kind, intellectual, and curious. You aren't going to find out these things by knowing that he works in investment banking, lives downtown , and likes to go to the movies.

The days of me getting excited about someone who’s not excited about me are over. I can’t find the energy to get excited about someone who doesn’t want me. If someone doesn’t want me, it kills it for me, because I know this person will make me so unhappy.

Ordinary things done consistently produce extraordinary results.

Remember, the pain of rejection is nothing compared to the pain of regret.

In this way, curiosity helps you step out of fear, and by doing so you rob the thing you’re afraid of of the power it has over you.

It’s OK to be disappointed that someone didn’t turn out to be the one. But don’t grieve as if they were the one. If they didn’t choose you, they’re not.

The right relationship is one where
things get better when you communicate. If your relationship gets worse
when one of you speaks the truth, you’re in the wrong relationship.

If you’re older, you can play two cards: you bring a level of maturity and knowledge of the world and life (and sex, by the way) that a guy might not be able to get with a younger woman, and you also demonstrate youthful qualities like a desire for fun and adventure. This is a powerful and sexy combination of traits. Men aren’t attracted to young women, they are attracted to youth-fulness. Youth is something we do, not something we are.

If confronted, a guy might slip into vague mumbo-jumbo, but when he’s being up-front he’s likely to say one of the following: She was just nice (there was no edge, no challenge) She was boring She was too aggressive She’s a gold digger She was too superficial She came across as too desperate She was trying too hard to impress She was too negative She’s a drama queen and would be a nightmare over the long term There wasn’t any chemistry

A guy should receive the amount of time and attention he earns.

The love of your life can only ever be the person who chooses you for their life. It can never be the person who doesn’t choose you.

Once you just get curious about people and places, you lose all that anxiety about approaching people. You lose that ridiculous idea that every interaction has two possible outcomes: approval or rejection.

Most lottery winners (even those who win millions) find a way to go broke again. And when they do go broke, they don't know how to make that money again because when it happened the first time it was by pure chance. They have no formula they can replicate. Those who are successful in business, on the other hand, know that going broke isn't the end of the world. They have the skills to get back into the game and create something from nothing, and know that waiting will get them nowhere. Likewise, those who know how to go out and find a relationship don't panic when they're single.