What matters most at the moment of heartbreak is the meaning we ascribe to our pain. We may feel devastated because we believe we’ve just lost our so… - Matthew Hussey

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What matters most at the moment of heartbreak is the meaning we ascribe to our pain. We may feel devastated because we believe we’ve just lost our soul mate. And that’s often what we do feel in that moment. When we are deep in heartbreak we feel like we have lost the only person in the world for whom we are capable of feeling this level of emotion. We can’t imagine ever loving anyone else. If we invest in this belief, not only will it increase our suffering, it will also make it more difficult for anyone else to come into our life, because we feel like we’ve already lost The One. Nothing else seems to matter. We lose our drive, our ambition, and our ability to take even baby steps forward.

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That’s because genuine attraction is a complicated spectrum of the way we move, talk and gesture; of the beliefs we hold and the conviction with which we communicate them; the way our muscles move in our face when we smile; the subtle differences between a look of shyness and a look of playfulness; of our reactions to situations and the way we deal with life.

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