Jane Wagner Quotes

If the formula for water is H₂O, is the formula for an ice cube H₂O squared?

The best mind-altering drug is truth.

If I had known what it would be like to have it all... I might have been willing to settle for less.

Why is it when we talk to God we're said to be praying — but when God talks to us, we're said to be schizophrenic?

Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.

For fast acting relief, try slowing down.

Interviewer: You once said you had a drug problem... Lily: Yeah, I still do. It's so hard to find good grass these days.

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

All my life, I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

It's my belief we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.

Your problem is your role models were models.