Joe Rogan Quotes

We have comic book bad guys. Osama Bin Laden is right out of a fucking comic book. Think about it: He's a billionaire genius … who hates us! He lives in a cave. He used to work for the good guys and got all their secrets, and then he switched over to the dark side. And every time they almost capture him, he mysteriously gets away, and leaves behind a threatening tape. What is this, a fuckin' Stan Lee production?

We're all in this, like, constant wrestling match with biology, and the reality of our environment, and the utter ridiculousness of the fucking universe. The whole thing. It's constantly weighing on you. When I drive home, every fucking time I drive anywhere, at some point in the drive, I'll roll down the window … and I look up, and I just want to see forever. And I just want to stick my fucking head out, and know that, that this goes on forever, right from here, forever, little perspective shot. Boom. Roll the window back up. None of it makes sense! It's all crazy! And if you're really paying attention to the whole thing, and pretending that everything's moving along fine and I'm in this temporary body, with no idea of what's next, but that's okay, I'm gonna raise a bunch of other temporary beings, and we're gonna fucking drive around, and spend money, which doesn't even mean anything, because it's based on confidence, and it's just ones and zeroes in a data bank somewhere, and hopefully no one's manipulating it! I want to get what I earn! And you just keep going 'til your fucking heart stops.

People are scared, man. They're scared of the void.

Some people don't believe in aliens. I do believe in aliens. But I believe they gave up on people a long time ago. Wouldn't you? I think there's a few liberal aliens out there, still hangin' in:

When did society forget that kids 'should not make life-changing choices' like gender surgery?

[About Fear Factor] Every now and then I'll be right in the middle of it and just go "What the fuck am I doing? There's a girl with a mouthful of animal dicks, and I'm telling her 'you can get more in there', and she's listening to me. That's my job? Oh, my guidance counselor owes me a fucking apology. That dude lacked vision."

But they just don’t want him president again, And they know that if he runs against Biden, Biden is so old, you know? And no matter what you think about his policies, you hear him talk. He’s so old. He’s so compromised.

No one is going to run against Trump on the Republican side and win because you are not going to get the Trump supporters. They are all in on Trump. Unless he has a stroke. Unless something horrible happens,People liked the ideas he was putting forward... everybody thinks there needs to be a wall. Even the Mayor of New York City is now calling to stop immigration into his city. This is a guy who called for it to be a sanctuary city.

Guys don't know they're pussy whipped until it's too late. Until you do something that lets you know, like when you shush your friends: "Hey, man, remember that time we went to Vegas and…?" "Dude, shut the fuck up about Vegas! The fuck are you doing?! The window's open, man! She's somewhere in the city!"

I ask that you suspend any opinions, either negative or positive, about these compounds. Whatever you believe their value to be, they continue to have profound effects wherever we find their use, whether it's contemporary Western culture or in the Amazon rainforest.

They don't feel like they fit in anyway. When they give them testosterone a lot of times there is alleviation of anxiety that comes with testosterone and euphoria that comes with that and they say ok this is who I've meant to be which is so crazy that introducing a foreign substance into your body or at least a substance that your body does not naturally have at masculine doses, and that you are introducing that to a feminine body and then saying this is who I naturally am . That doesn't make sense biologically , scientifically.

I am not homophobic; I am cock-conscious.

Richard Dawkins: I think that eternity is what is frightening about death. And eternity is best spent under a general anesthetic—which is what is going to happen. Joe Rogan: Right. Gonezo. Out go the lights. Maybe, or maybe not. Have you had any experiences with psychedelics? Richard Dawkins: No. Joe Rogan: Do you have any interest in that? […] I would think that a person like yourself, who has this sort of rigorous belief that the lights go out, and then that's it … I would think that that would be attractive to just at least dip your toes in. Richard Dawkins: Yes, yes. Well, don't you think the lights go out? Joe Rogan: I don't know. I have had some pretty profound psychedelic experiences that make me wonder what thoughts are and what consciousness is. Richard Dawkins: Well, I wonder what consciousness is, but it's pretty clear that it's to do with brains, and brains decay. So I wouldn't hold out much hope if I were you. Joe Rogan: Well, you might be right. Certainly, consciousness does have to do with brains. We know brain damage severely perturbs consciousness. But there's some interaction with certain chemicals that makes this experience far different than what it is when we're on "the natch". Richard Dawkins: I believe that, but it's still brains, though. Joe Rogan: Still brains … but that's it? Reductionist? Richard Dawkins: Nothing wrong with reductionism. Joe Rogan: Nothing wrong with it. Not saying there is.

Canada’s fucking falling apart. All the shit they did during COVID was just the total wrong direction. The trucker convoy, when they froze people’s bank assets … they froze people’s bank accounts that donated money to the convoy. That’s crazy … a peaceful protest, which everybody is supposed to be all about, these people were protesting COVID vaccine mandates and the lockdowns and they fucking went after the people that donated, which is crazy … They shut their bank accounts down.

[It's] 2006 and pot is still controversial. That's hilarious. Pot's still illegal and no one has a jet pack. What the fuck is going on?! Isn't this Silicon Valley? Where's the jet packs, bitch?! I just wanna go up to everyone making cell phones and say, "Hey, that's small enough. Stop right there. Just keep them working." 72 inch TV? That's plenty big, dude. Just keep them working. No, you'll never get pot and you'll never get a jet pack. And you'll certainly never get the two of them at the same time. Civilization would fucking crumble. Be honest, would you work? 'Cuz I wouldn't work. Who the fuck is gonna show up for work at the mortgage company when you can smoke pot and fly?!