Joe Rogan Quotes

I ask that you suspend any opinions, either negative or positive, about these compounds. Whatever you believe their value to be, they continue to have profound effects wherever we find their use, whether it's contemporary Western culture or in the Amazon rainforest.

I am not homophobic; I am cock-conscious.

Canada’s fucking falling apart. All the shit they did during COVID was just the total wrong direction. The trucker convoy, when they froze people’s bank assets … they froze people’s bank accounts that donated money to the convoy. That’s crazy … a peaceful protest, which everybody is supposed to be all about, these people were protesting COVID vaccine mandates and the lockdowns and they fucking went after the people that donated, which is crazy … They shut their bank accounts down.

Richard Dawkins: I think that eternity is what is frightening about death. And eternity is best spent under a general anesthetic—which is what is going to happen. Joe Rogan: Right. Gonezo. Out go the lights. Maybe, or maybe not. Have you had any experiences with psychedelics? Richard Dawkins: No. Joe Rogan: Do you have any interest in that? […] I would think that a person like yourself, who has this sort of rigorous belief that the lights go out, and then that's it … I would think that that would be attractive to just at least dip your toes in. Richard Dawkins: Yes, yes. Well, don't you think the lights go out? Joe Rogan: I don't know. I have had some pretty profound psychedelic experiences that make me wonder what thoughts are and what consciousness is. Richard Dawkins: Well, I wonder what consciousness is, but it's pretty clear that it's to do with brains, and brains decay. So I wouldn't hold out much hope if I were you. Joe Rogan: Well, you might be right. Certainly, consciousness does have to do with brains. We know brain damage severely perturbs consciousness. But there's some interaction with certain chemicals that makes this experience far different than what it is when we're on "the natch". Richard Dawkins: I believe that, but it's still brains, though. Joe Rogan: Still brains … but that's it? Reductionist? Richard Dawkins: Nothing wrong with reductionism. Joe Rogan: Nothing wrong with it. Not saying there is.

[On Dr. Phil] Ladies, please listen to me, don't you ever take relationship advice from a guy you don't wanna fuck, okay? Because let me tell you something: if you don't wanna fuck him, chances are a lot of other girls don't wanna fuck him either; and that guy is gonna say whatever he needs to to make you happy. … He says crazy shit. He told this one man that masturbating is just as bad as cheating on his wife. I fucking shit you not! If I had a gun in my hand I woulda Elvis'd that TV.

Just because I'm staring deep into your birth canal does not mean that I'm fucked up. It means you should have paid more attention in high school and I have a dollar. I have four quarters and you have a bad job. Don't get pissed at me because you didn't learn how to type, you no-back-up-plan-having pain in the ass.

They don't feel like they fit in anyway. When they give them testosterone a lot of times there is alleviation of anxiety that comes with testosterone and euphoria that comes with that and they say ok this is who I've meant to be which is so crazy that introducing a foreign substance into your body or at least a substance that your body does not naturally have at masculine doses, and that you are introducing that to a feminine body and then saying this is who I naturally am . That doesn't make sense biologically , scientifically.

[About Fear Factor] Every now and then I'll be right in the middle of it and just go "What the fuck am I doing? There's a girl with a mouthful of animal dicks, and I'm telling her 'you can get more in there', and she's listening to me. That's my job? Oh, my guidance counselor owes me a fucking apology. That dude lacked vision."

But they just don’t want him president again, And they know that if he runs against Biden, Biden is so old, you know? And no matter what you think about his policies, you hear him talk. He’s so old. He’s so compromised.

We have comic book bad guys. Osama Bin Laden is right out of a fucking comic book. Think about it: He's a billionaire genius … who hates us! He lives in a cave. He used to work for the good guys and got all their secrets, and then he switched over to the dark side. And every time they almost capture him, he mysteriously gets away, and leaves behind a threatening tape. What is this, a fuckin' Stan Lee production?

When did society forget that kids 'should not make life-changing choices' like gender surgery?

You know, what is the machine that runs this country? Because it's very clear that it's not as simple as elected representatives that are doing the will of the people.

Some people don't believe in aliens. I do believe in aliens. But I believe they gave up on people a long time ago. Wouldn't you? I think there's a few liberal aliens out there, still hangin' in:

Do you know what I made the mistake of doing yesterday? I watched Ace Ventura: Pet Detective with my 8-year-old and my 10-year-old," Rogan said, as their conversation veered towards controversial films. … "I didn't realise how transphobic that fucking movie is.

[It's] 2006 and pot is still controversial. That's hilarious. Pot's still illegal and no one has a jet pack. What the fuck is going on?! Isn't this Silicon Valley? Where's the jet packs, bitch?! I just wanna go up to everyone making cell phones and say, "Hey, that's small enough. Stop right there. Just keep them working." 72 inch TV? That's plenty big, dude. Just keep them working. No, you'll never get pot and you'll never get a jet pack. And you'll certainly never get the two of them at the same time. Civilization would fucking crumble. Be honest, would you work? 'Cuz I wouldn't work. Who the fuck is gonna show up for work at the mortgage company when you can smoke pot and fly?!