John Waters Quotes

There is right and there is wrong, I have NEVER been wrong.

Listen to your political enemies, especially the smart ones, and then figure out a way to make them laugh.

"It's always up to other people to say if something is art. I hate it when people say, "I'm an artist." I think, well, I'll be the judge of that. And I don't think "artist" is a job description. It's a critique, a favorable critique, that someone else might apply to your work."

My hobby is extreme Catholic behavior — BEFORE the Reformation.

Just because something 'happens', because it is 'true', because the 'facts' are correct, does not ensure that it is the truth.

If you go home with somebody and they don't have books, don't fuck 'em.

He strapped a video camera to the hood of his car and we drove around while he filmed us smashing through piles of old dead Christmas trees that residents had left in the alleys and he would set on fire. I could never get Jake to “put out” but it still was a really romantic night for me, so I stayed in touch.

If you just broke up with someone, be sad;
if you just ran over somebody drunk driving, feel depressed.
You shouldn't take a pill that makes you feel okay about terrible things.

I would never want to film hard-core pornography, because it always looks like open-heart surgery to me.

Who's to blame when your kid goes nuts? Is it a blessing to not have children? 'We Need to Talk About Kevin' became a hit cult book for women without offspring who were finally able to admit they didn't want to give birth. They felt complete, thank you very much, and lived in silent resentment for years at other women's pious, unwanted sympathy toward them for not having babies. With even gay couples having children these days, aren't happy heterosexual women who don't want to have kids the most ostracized of us all? To me they are beautiful feminists. If you're not sure you could love your children, please don't have them, because they might grow up and kill us.

When the worst thing that can happen to you does, I try to be a friend.

Our assholes will be clean but we must never wash our hands. Our immune systems will be strengthened by our being dirty. Not filthy. Just mildly grimy. Filthy fingernails have always been a favorite fashion accessory of mine. Especially when you place your hands in the prayer positions. Matter of fact, I urge all my followers to forgo nail polish permanently and replace it with expertly applied soot. The nonexistent gods above will ignore our prayers better this way.

Read to make yourself smarter! Less judgmental. More apt to understand your friends' insane behavior, or better yet, your own.

I'll never be able to do a sequel to Pink Flamingos because it would have to end with Divine taking a shit and the dog eating it.

La vida no vale nada si no tienes una obsesión.