Kevin Smith Quotes

Stop…stop, that’s the next generation of fans… How dare you pass judgment on those 12-year-old girls who like vampires! They need to be encouraged because in six years they’ll be 18-year-old girls who like vampires and are into all sorts of goth-permissive and whatnot. Don’t Poo-poo it. There’s a plan, and it’s working.

What's your name, new best friend?

Do you know what makes a human being decent? Fear. And therein lies the problem. None of you has anything left to fear anymore.

It's a joyful thing, being a Catholic. I can't even think about sex without thinking about bodily waste.

Why take life seriously? No one gets out alive anyways.

There would always be a bunch of fucking grousers and nay-sayers being like "that was uncalled for."

In the face of such hopelessness as our eventual, unavoidable death, there is little sense in not at least trying to accomplish all of your wildest dreams in life.

Only someone who doesn’t understand art tells an artist their art somehow failed. How the fuck can art fail? Art can’t be graded, because it’s going to mean something different to everyone. You can’t apply a mathematical absolute to art because there is no one formula for self-expression.

Ten years in and we bone like we're cheating on each other WITH each other. A decade-plus and her clit/brown/taint-area still pOwns my dick.

Sir, I just think that's it's fucking brilliant that you somehow managed to tie Chuck Norris, Chewbacca the Wookie, and Jesus Christ together.

lifes too $hort kids; do the shit that makes you happy!

They are creepy, too, man. Those puppets don't make me feel good. I'll be honest, nothing about this show makes me feel good.

Brodie Bruce:

You're gonna listen to me? To something I said!? Jesus, man, haven't I made it abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit? I mean half the time I'm just talking out of my ass...or sticking my hand in it.

... -because that's when I realized that this life is a rigged game that you cannot win. Even good men die screaming.

If you're alive, kick into drive. Chase whimsies. See if you can turn dreams into a way to make a living, if not an entire way of life.