A teacher I once had told me that the older you get, the lonelier you become and the deeper the love you need. Loneliness creates an appetite for deeper love, and the entire predicament deepens. And as a result of suffering, your capacity to love deeply increases.

"Crazy to Love You"

I had to go crazy to love you
Had to go down to the pit
Had to do time in the tower
Now I'm too tired to quit

I had to go crazy to love you
You who were never the one
Whom I chased through the souvenir heartache
My braids and my blouse all undone

Sometimes I'd head for the highway
I'm old and the mirrors don't lie
But crazy has places to hide me
Deeper than saying goodbye


I had to go crazy to love you
Had to let everything fall
Had to be people I hated
Had to be no one at all

Tired of choosing desire
I've been saved by a blessed fatigue
The gates of commitment unwired
And nobody trying to leave

Sometimes I'd head for the highway
I'm old and the mirrors don't lie
But crazy had places to hide me
Deeper than saying goodbye

Be With Me In The Phases Of My Work Because My Brain Feels Like It Has Been Whipped And I Yearn To Make A Small Perfect Thing Which Will Live In Your Morning Like Curious Static Through A President's Elegy Or A Nude Hunchback Acquiring A Tan On The Crowded Oily Beach.

Maybe there's a God above,
As for me, all I've ever seemed to learn from love
Is how to shoot at someone who outdrew you.
Yeah but it's not a complaint that you hear tonight,
It's not the laughter of someone who claims to have seen the light
No it's a cold and it's a very lonely Hallelujah.

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Sjeća se užasnih šutnji i plača koji nije mogao razumjeti. Ništa nije mogao učiniti, a najmanje od svega odjenuti se i otići. Mrzio je sebe zbog toga što joj nanosi bol, a ona je mrzila sebe što zato što ga guši. Onoga vedroga jutra nije trebao stati. Zbog nje se osjećao bespomoćnim. Oboje su se osjećali bspomoćnim zbog onoga drugoga.

JINGLE

To show the fat brain
rotting like stumps of brown teeth
in an old bright throat
is the final clever thrill
of summer lads all dead with love.

So here is mine,
torn and stretched for the sun,
to be used for a drum or a tambourine,
to be scratched with poetry
by Kafka’s machine

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