Mignon McLaughlin Quotes

On stage and off, we care what happens to a beautiful woman, whether she can act well or not.

The fear of being laughed at makes cowards of us all.

If the second marriage really succeeds, the first one didn't really fail.

Men prefer brief praise, pitched high; women are satisfied with praise in a lower key, just so it goes on and on.

Groups of girls are pretty, or not; they are seldom mixed.

What a shame that allowances have to stop with the teens: both those that are paid to us and those that are made for us.

We hear only half of what is said to us, understand only half of that, believe only half of that, and remember only half of that.

Charity is a good way of reminding God that if we can do it, He can.

Be glad that you're greedy; the national economy would collapse if you weren't.

Revenge leads to an empty fullness, like eating dirt.

There are now electrical appliances with the main unit so sealed in that it cannot be got at for repair. There have always been human beings like that.

Broadway audiences are dependably square. "Well, I'll be a son of a bitch" always gets a laugh; spoken by a little old lady, it brings down the house.

Neurotics dream of a good life, or a great suicide note.

There are whole years for which I hope I’ll never be cross-examined, for I could not give an alibi.

Hate leaves ugly scars, love leaves beautiful ones.