American talk show host, actress, producer, and author (born 1954)
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your happiness, you’re wasting your time. You must be fearless enough to give yourself the love you didn’t receive. Begin noticing how every day brings a new opportunity for your growth. How buried disagreements with your mother show up in arguments with your spouse. How unconscious feelings of unworthiness appear in everything you do (and don’t do). All these experiences are your life’s way of urging you to leave the past behind and make yourself whole. Pay attention. Every choice gives you a chance to pave your own road. Keep moving. Full speed ahead.
What I’ve learned from talking to so many victims of traumatic events, abuse, or neglect is that after absorbing these painful experiences, the child begins to ache. A deep longing to feel needed, validated, and valued begins to take hold. As these children grow, they lack the ability to set a standard for what they deserve. And if that lack is not addressed, what often follows is a complicated, frustrating pattern of self-sabotage, violence, promiscuity, or addiction.
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America is an ongoing project. It requires commitment, it requires being open to the hard work and the heart work of democracy. And every now and then, it requires standing up to life’s bullies. I know this. I’ve lived in Mississippi, in Tennessee, in Wisconsin, Maryland, Indiana, Florida, Hawaii, Colorado, California, and sweet home Chicago, Illinois. I have actually traveled this country from the redwood forest — love those redwoods — to the Gulf Stream waters. I’ve seen racism and sexism and income inequality and division. I’ve not only seen it; at times, I’ve been on the receiving end of it. But more often than not, what I’ve witnessed and experienced are human beings, both conservative and liberal, who may not agree with each other, but who would still help you in a heartbeat if you were in trouble. These are the people who make me proud to say that I am an American. They are the best of America.