Top 15 Peter Cook Quotes

And wuv, twue wuv, wiww fowwow you fowevah —

Mawwage. Mawwage is what bwings us togethew today. Mawwage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam.

You are now to retire, as indeed should I, carefully to consider your verdict of "Not Guilty".

You will probably have noticed that three of the defendants have very wisely chosen to exercise their inalienable right not to go into the witness box to answer a lot of impertinent questions. I will merely say that you are not to infer from this anything other than that they consider the evidence against them so flimsy that it was scarcely worth their while to rise from their seats and waste their breath denying these ludicrous charges...

All right, you great git, you've asked for it. I'll cover the world in Tastee-Freez and Wimpy Burgers. I'll fill it with concrete runways, motorways, aircraft, television, automobiles, advertising, plastic flowers, frozen food and supersonic bangs. I'll make it so noisy and disgusting that even you'll be ashamed of yourself! No wonder you've so few friends; you're unbelievable!

I've done a good deed. I gave that little twit his soul back. Wasn't that generous?

Tell God not to go away. I'll be back in a minute.

And the magic word: Julie Andrews!

In the words of Marcel Proust — and this applies to any woman in the world — if you can stay up and listen with a fair degree of attention to whatever garbage, no matter how stupid it is that they're coming out with, till ten minutes past four in the morning... you're in.

Job was what you'd technically describe as a loony.

There was a time when I used to get lots of ideas... I thought up the Seven Deadly Sins in one afternoon. The only thing I've come up with recently is advertising.

Now, then, what'd you like to be first? Prime Minister? Oh, no — I've made that deal already.

It's the standard contract. Gives you seven wishes in accordance with the mystic rules of life. Seven Days of the Week, Seven Deadly Sins, Seven Seas, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers...

What terrible sins I have working for me. I suppose it's the wages.

You realize that suicide's a criminal offense — In less enlightened times they'd have hung you for it.