Steve Martin Quotes

I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.

I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.

The operation was a success, but I'm afraid the doctor is dead.

She tried to get even with him through psychological warfare but couldn't, because he didn't care.

Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.

Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.

Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.

"You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies."
Steve Martin

Were they beautiful? We were all beautiful. We were in our twenties.

Yeah, well, we're all writers, aren't we? He's a writer that hasn't been published, and I'm a writer who hasn't written anything.

A girl who is willing to give every ounce of herself to someone, who could never betray her lover, who never suspects maliciousness of anyone, and whose sexuality sleeps in her, waiting to be stirred.

I have found that — just as in real life — imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.

I have heard it said that a complicated childhood can lead to a life in the arts. I tell you this story of my father and me to let you know I am qualified to be a comedian.

Somewhere in the world is...The world's worst doctor and he could be yours.

A celebrity is any well-known TV or movie star who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair.