The Kids in the Hall

Dave Foley: So when people say to me let sleeping dogs lie, I say to them, friend, sleeping dogs...they eventually wake up...and chew out the throat of democracy!

Bellini: Thank God that's finally over.

Cab driver: When I was a little boy, my mother used to sing me a song. It went like this: Life is short, life is shit, and soon it will be over.

Raymond Hurdicure (Dave Foley): So I hear Dad's dead, hey is that eggnog?

Bellini: Thank God that's finally over.

Raymond Hurdicure (Dave Foley): So I hear Dad's dead, hey is that eggnog?

Grivo: I wanna talk about drugs.
Audience: Heroin?
Grivo: No. Not heroin.
Audience: Speed?
Grivo: No. Not speed.
Audience: Hashish?
Grivo: No, not even hashish.
Audience: (beat) Horse tranquilizers?
Grivo: No. Not horse tranquilizers. I just heard about a drug that makes you happy. I just want to say... (looks at the crowd) ...fuck happy!

"Daddy" (Dave Foley): All right now, son, I want you to get a good night's rest. And remember, I could murder you while you sleep. It's easy, son, all you have to do is be quiet and willing to do it. And son, I am willing to do it. And, I've got quiet shoes. Good night, son. Sleep well.

Chris: Cat on my head!

Dave Foley: I once shot a man just to watch him die, then I got distracted and missed it. Oh my friends tried to describe it to me, but it just isn't the same.

Cab driver: When I was a little boy, my mother used to sing me a song. It went like this: Life is short, life is shit, and soon it will be over.

German Patient: The nipples of Mother Hope have run dry.

Darill: (to date) You look alarmed! Is it because you find something alarming?

Jesus (Scott Thompson): Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do, for they walk through this life in toe-crampity shoes. (http://www.kithfan.org/work/transcripts/one/drseuss.html)

Wally: Tell me, doc... why do those... types, think I'm one of them?
Therapist: Because... you are one of them. You are gay. You-you-you are gay, you are a homosexual. The opposite of straight, you're gay. I know it, your family knows it. Dogs know it! Everybody knows it but you!