The bad news is the butcher’s dead. The good news is there’… - Jarod Kintz

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The bad news is the butcher’s dead. The good news is there’ll be no need for a funeral, and I’ve got enough meat to last for weeks.

Jarod Kintz

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Groucho Marx Woody Allen Brandon Boyd Steven Wright Margaret Atwood

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Roses may say “I love you,” but the cactus says “Fuck off.

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The morning always has a way of creeping up on me and peeking in my bedroom windows. The sunrise is such a pervert.

The bad news is the butcher’s dead. The good news is there’ll be no need for a funeral, and I’ve got enough meat to last for weeks. - Jarod Kintz

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Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz