Wait, what?” is first on my list of essential questions because it is an effective way of asking for clarification, and clarification is the first st… - James E. Ryan

Couldn’t we at least . . . ?” is a good way to get unstuck. It is a way to get past disagreement to form some consensus, as in, “Couldn’t we at least agree?” It’s also a way to get started even when you’re not entirely sure where you will finish, as in: “Couldn’t we at least begin?” No matter its specific form, asking questions that begin with “Couldn’t we at least . . . ?” is the way to make progress.

In sum, the question “I wonder why?” is essential because it is at the heart of curiosity, and asking this question is the way to remain interested in the world around you, including your place in it.

Too often we decide very early whether we agree or disagree with someone or with an idea, without making an effort to truly understand the person or the point. Our public conversations, and especially conversations on social media, often seem like exercises in picking sides and choosing teams. We hear or read something, make a quick call, then dismiss those with whom we disagree as ignorant or evil.