The thing that nobody really said about Rebecca Adlington is that she looks pretty weird. She looks like someone who's looking at themselves in the b… - Frankie Boyle

Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot but look at him now; an alcoholic racist!

Do you know, there's now hotels for the super rich that are so exclusive that when you phone down and ask for an extra pillow, that's actually a code word. That's actually a code word for a prostitute. Imagine that, you phone down for an extra pillow, and a prostitute turns up. Now you have two prostitutes. And only one pillow to smother them with.

[Talking about Richard Hammond's high-speed dragster crash] That should be the anti-speeding advert. It should be footage of Richard Hammond trying to remember his own wedding day.[Mimicking Richard Hammond] "She was wearing black... or was it red? Am I married?"