Before I get started tonight, sorry in advance if I offend … - Daniel Tosh

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Before I get started tonight, sorry in advance if I offend anyone. It's not my job to know what your personal line of decency is. I cross my own from time to time. It's how I know I still have one.

Daniel Tosh

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About Daniel Tosh

Daniel Tosh (born 29 May 1975) is an American comedian.

Also Known As

Birth Name: Daniel Dwight Tosh

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Additional quotes by Daniel Tosh

Have you ever taken a post-shower shit? Augh! Might as well go back to bed, start your whole day over.

I can say that. I have a television show.

I put a "What Would Jesus Do?" bracelet on my Jewish friend's wrist and it burned his skin. He threw it on the ground, it turned into a serpent, we both started laughing. We left it there. We hate snakes. We think they're slimy even though we know they're not.

Before I get started tonight, sorry in advance if I offend anyone. It's not my job to know what your personal line of decency is. I cross my own from… - Daniel Tosh

About Daniel Tosh

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