To counter the fixation on a rhetoric of victimhood, black folks must engage in a discourse of self-determination. - bell hooks

My grief was a heavy, despairing sadness caused by parting from a companion of many years but, more important, it was a despair rooted in the fear that love did not exist, could not be found. And even if it were lurking somewhere, I might never know it in my lifetime. It had become hard for me to continue to believe in love's promise when everywhere I turned the enchantment of power of the terror of fear overshadowed the will to love.

Self-acceptance is hard for many of us. There is a voice inside that is constantly judging, first ourselves and then others.

To be loving is to be open to grief, to be touched by sorrow, even sorrow that is unending.