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Acid is my favorite drug, it opened my mind. Because of acid, I now know that butter is way better than margarine. I saw through the bullshit." - Mitch Hedberg
" "Acid is my favorite drug, it opened my mind. Because of acid, I now know that butter is way better than margarine. I saw through the bullshit."
English
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About Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg (24 February 1968 – 30 March 2005) was an American stand-up comic known for his odd subject matter, subdued delivery and memorable routines that often consisted of a string of one-line non sequiturs.
Biography information from Wikiquote
Also Known As
Birth Name:
Mitchell Lee Hedberg
Alternative Names:
Mitch Lee Hedberg
•
Mitchell Hedberg
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Additional quotes by Mitch Hedberg
I've got an oscillating fan at my house. The fan goes back and forth. It looks like the fan is saying "No". So I like to ask it questions that a fan would say "no" to. "Do you keep my hair in place? Do you keep my documents in order? Do you have 3 settings? Liar!" My fan fucking lied to me. Now I will pull the pin up. Now you ain't sayin' shit.
My apartment is infested with koala bears. Its the cutest infestation ever. Much better than cockroaches. I turn the lights on and a bunch of koala bears scatter. I'm like "hey, hold on fellas! Lemme hold one of you, and feed you a leaf". Koalas, they're so fucking cute, why do they gotta be so far away from me. They should ship a few over, and I will apprehend one... And hold him... And pet him on the back of his head.
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