I had one anchovy, that's why I didn't have two anchovies. - Mitch Hedberg

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I had one anchovy, that's why I didn't have two anchovies.

Mitch Hedberg

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About Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg (24 February 1968 – 30 March 2005) was an American stand-up comic known for his odd subject matter, subdued delivery and memorable routines that often consisted of a string of one-line non sequiturs.

Biography information from Wikiquote

Also Known As

Birth Name: Mitchell Lee Hedberg

Alternative Names: Mitch Lee Hedberg • Mitchell Hedberg

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Originators like Mitch Hedberg:

David Sedaris Steven Wright Jarod Kintz Dylan Moran Karl Pilkington

Additional quotes by Mitch Hedberg

Whenever I go to shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving, so I say "I'm gonna go shave, too."

I think Pringles' original intention was to make tennis balls... But on the day the rubber was supposed to show up, a truckload of potatoes came. Pringles is a laid-back company, so they just said "Fuck it, cut em up!"

Some people think I'm high on stage; I would never get high before a show, because, when I'm high, I don't wanna stand in front of a bunch of people I don't know. That does not sound comfortable. Like, when you're high, and a joke doesn't work, it's extra scary. It's like,"Whoa, what the hell happened there? I am retreating within myself. Why have all these people gathered? And why am I elevated? Why am I not facing the same way as everyone else? And what is this electric stick in my hand?"