Whenever I go to shave, I assume there's someone else on th… - Mitch Hedberg

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Whenever I go to shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving, so I say "I'm gonna go shave, too."

Mitch Hedberg

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About Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg (24 February 1968 – 30 March 2005) was an American stand-up comic known for his odd subject matter, subdued delivery and memorable routines that often consisted of a string of one-line non sequiturs.

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Also Known As

Birth Name: Mitchell Lee Hedberg

Alternative Names: Mitch Lee Hedberg • Mitchell Hedberg

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Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. "Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way."

I'm sick of following my dream, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going then hook up with 'em later

In Venice, Italy they don't have streets, they have canals. So in Venice, we gotta keep the kids off the canals. In Venice if you're not book smart, but you do know what's going on, you are canal smart. "I've got canal smarts bitch!"

Whenever I go to shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving, so I say "I'm gonna go shave, too." - Mitch Hedberg

About Mitch Hedberg

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Additional quotes by Mitch Hedberg