As much as I want to make love to you, I’d rather make love to your clone. - Jarod Kintz

I’m so lonely, I just need somebody to call me — even if it’s a wrong number. I’m also hungry, so maybe that caller could order me a pizza after they hang up on me.

Love will make a man do some funny things, like tightrope walking across a telephone wire, rather than simply picking up the phone to call or text.

I want to meet a woman named Sherry who only drinks brandy, and a woman named Brandy who only drinks sherry. Then I’ll offer each one of them one magical night of sex with me, in the form of two of my clones.