Strictly speaking, the land does not exist; it is merely dehydrated sea. - Alan Coren

Ethnically, the Germans are Teutonic...being made up of Vandals, Gepidae, and Goths, all of whom emigrated - south from Sweden in about 500 BC; why they emigrated is not exactly clear, but many scholars believe it was because they saw the way Sweden was going, i.e. neutral.

Apart from cheese and tulips, the main product of the country is advocaat, a drink made from lawyers.

I rang room service, and asked for a bottle of Perrier, because while I was asleep someone had come in and carpeted my throat.