Leopards can carry twice their own weight up a tree... I do… - Daniel Tosh

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Leopards can carry twice their own weight up a tree... I don't have a joke for that yet. But when you walk out of here tonight, you can say, "Well, at least I learned something. That guy's like a fucking Snapple!"

Daniel Tosh

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About Daniel Tosh

Daniel Tosh (born 29 May 1975) is an American comedian.

Also Known As

Birth Name: Daniel Dwight Tosh

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Tina Fey Maddox George Carlin David Sedaris Yahtzee Croshaw

Additional quotes by Daniel Tosh

Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.

Even when I was a kid, my imaginary friend would play with the kid across the street. I'd be like, "Hey, so I guess I'll see you later," and he's like, "Whatever, queer."

I came up with my own expression. I like to "make it hail". Yeah. That's when you throw change on sluts. [Mimes throwing change] "Ow! Were those nickels?" Yeah, it's a down economy, I'm a baller on a budget, bitch!

Leopards can carry twice their own weight up a tree... I don't have a joke for that yet. But when you walk out of here tonight, you can say, "Well, a… - Daniel Tosh

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