The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things. - Jilly Cooper

This woke thing is awful. Have you ever been woked? You put a hand on somebody's shoulder and you're assaulting them. In the old days if someone was awful to you you'd tell them to eff off and that would be that. Still, I had some horrors in my time.

I saw this bright orange flash and thought this is it, my number has come up. There was a man above me who was talking about his wife, saying "I love you, Ellen, I love you".
The train caved over and there was this terrific crash. It was only after we climbed out that we realised the full magnitude of what had happened - there were bodies, trains turned over, massive smoke and flames. I think all you think about at the time is "get me out of here". I was very lucky really - my carriage was the last but one on the train and although it turned over, people did not seem too bad.

[On her novels] I know they are frivolous imperfect But people love them — you should see the letters I get! Maybe one day I will write something more serious but I don’t want to come across like a ghastly actor who wants to play Hamlet. Basically my aim in life is to add to the sum of human happiness My dear is that pompous hmmm? Darling am I being boring?