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" "It’s a strange feeling. Everywhere I go, I’m the first. Step outside the rover? First guy ever to be there! Climb a hill? First guy to climb that hill! Kick a rock? That rock hadn’t moved in a million years! I’m the first guy to drive long-distance on Mars. The first guy to spend more than thirty-one sols on Mars. The first guy to grow crops on Mars. First, first, first!
Andrew Taylor "Andy" Weir (born June 16, 1972) is an American novelist whose debut novel, The Martian, was later adapted into a film of the same name directed by Ridley Scott in 2015. He also worked as a computer programmer for much of his life. He received the John W. Campbell Award for Best New Writer in 2016.
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"I pull the sheet off the bed and wrap it around my torso a couple of times. I pull one corner over my shoulder from behind my back and tie it to another from the front. Instant toga.
"Self-ambulation detected," says the computer. "What's your name?"
"I am Emperor Comatose. Kneel before me."
"Incorrect.