Despite what astronomers would have you believe, most of the stars were created not by energy cooling into matter, but by Zeus. - Mark Forsyth

Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it was the sausage-maker who disposed of the body.

Minor had a lot of time on his hands, and also the advantage of being criminally insane, which is always a plus in lexicography

Just adding (for some only mind number ONE)4 ‘I, I shall go in, when the major has done:’ The Sub, who was, now, a most terrible plight, in; And, not quite aware of priority S — -ING, Squeez’d awhile; ‘Well!’ says he, ‘then, the best friends MUST PART;’ Crap! Crap! ’twas a moist one! a right Brewer’s ****! And, finding it vain, to be stopping the lake; ‘Zounds!’ says he, ‘then, here goes man! I’ve brew’d; so, I’ll bake.