You know, for years scientists have wondered, can you make … - John Mulaney

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You know, for years scientists have wondered, can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones' "It's Not Unusual", and the answer is: Yes. You can. As long as it is preceded by seven "What's New Pussycat"s.

John Mulaney

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About John Mulaney

John Edmund Mulaney (born 26 August 1982) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and producer.

Also Known As

Alternative Names: John Edmund Mulaney

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J. D. Salinger Louis C.K. David Sedaris George Carlin Tina Fey

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You spend most of your day telling a robot that you're not a robot. Think about that for two minutes and tell me you don't want to walk into the ocean.

I know now that I'm definetely never gonna be president. Not unless everyone gets real cool about a bunch of stuff really quickly.

I'm one of the worst drivers I have ever seen, and I just want you all to know that, if you're ever on the highway behind me, I hear you honking, and I also don't want me to be doing what I'm doing.

You know, for years scientists have wondered, can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones' "It's Not Unusual", and the an… - John Mulaney

About John Mulaney

Also Known As

Additional quotes by John Mulaney