If my legs get blown off in war, I’d like to have them repl… - Jarod Kintz

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If my legs get blown off in war, I’d like to have them replaced with a coffee table. Half man/half furniture, I’ll be in the living room if you need me.

Jarod Kintz

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Groucho Marx Woody Allen Brandon Boyd Steven Wright Margaret Atwood

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Older doesn't necessarily mean wiser. Some trees live to be hundreds of years old, and what the fuck do they know?

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Do I attribute my success to hard work, or sunscreen? If you want the truth, maybe you should ask my new albino secretary.

If my legs get blown off in war, I’d like to have them replaced with a coffee table. Half man/half furniture, I’ll be in the living room if you need … - Jarod Kintz

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